In these last three weeks of my postpartum time I have spent a lot of time in my bed. Between these sheets, while rain whispered through my window and some days even sunshine creeped in. I have spent a lot of time embracing rest and healing. Creating peace as much as I could. Sometimes it was difficult because my toddler is beside me most of the time too. Waiting for my attention, my hugs and kisses and bringing me his books to read to him. Of course I am embracing it all because time is fleeting and I want to be as present as I can with both of my children. And in all of that practicing simplicity helps me a lot. I have already written few stories about my path to simple life and minimalism even. Path to practicing gratitude daily and finding beauty in the mundane. It was and still is a beautiful journey that never ends. I have fallen a few times in a well known trap of Instagram perfection and scrolling late into the night. But whenever I did that and realized it, I grabbed my gratitude journal and reminded myself of everything I wrote that day. That is how I come back to present moment and remind myself why I choose simple life. It was not to watch other’s lives and compare lives or spent hours staring at something I will never be. After coming back to present moment I will grab a book, brew some tea or cacao with homemade marshmallows (because, autumn days), light a candle and read. Those few steps are how I practice simplicity almost every day.
A few years ago, in search of simplicity and peace and gratitude, I have learned how much it means to have a quiet space around, space filled with things that I value and love very much. Thing that are not clutter but that feel like a reminder of good life. I learned how much simple steps during the day like getting up early in the morning and spending the first half an hour in the fresh air can do for one's soul. I learned how much sipping warm tea from my favorite mug and writing gratitude can make my day feel more simple, positive and somehow easier. I learned how much putting the mobile phone in another room before going to bed and reading a few pages of some book can bring sense of lightness, peace, joy and self-satisfaction to human soul. All in all, I have learned that my soul likes to practice simplicity, as does my body and my mind. Simplicity has brought me so much in life and led me to discover mudane beauty above all.
Before being a wife and a mom I thought I could find happiness in new clothes, new decorations on the shelves, spending half the day lying in bed watching a TV show or scrolling and looking at countless pictures filled with perfection of someone else's life. Afterwards, I would always think that if I had a shirt like hers, I could have a life like hers. If I can have routines like her, I can have her body and her strength. But guess what, despite the clothes and routines and comparisons to others, I'm still me. I didn't become anyone else. I just forgot myself. I left myself looking at many others. But thanks to finding and practicing minimalism and simplicity, I came back, took myself firmly by the hand and moved forward. Towards a different life. A life where I don't need to lie in bed and spend hours comparing myself to other women. A life in which I can find a new joy. The joy of early mornings and making tea, the joy of autumn, the joy of walking in the fields, the joy of wearing woolen socks and knitted sweaters, the joy of sewing toys for my children, the joy of reading bedtime stories, the joy of simplicity that I had not noticed, recognized or found before. Now I try to spend as little time as possible on Instagram and follow people whose content matches my values and my way of living this one beautiful life. I try to see their stories and pictures of their lives as a reminder of the beauty of simplicity, and not as an invitation to compare and wish for a different life. I try to set the time and days that I will dedicate to writing here, the days that I will dedicate to posting something on Instagram. I devote the rest of my time to life, to mundane moments.
Ask yourself what a beautiful and simple life means to you? Do you know what it looks like for me? It looks like waking up beside my husband and my two beautiful children between our striped sheets. It looks like rising up before them and creating time for myself, for sipping tea on my balcony, for writing gratitude, saying a prayer and reading a book. It looks like greeting them in the morning with big hugs and kisses on their soft tiny cheeks, saying how much I love to see them every day and be with them. Simplicity is in cooking some warm oatmeal and sprinkling cinnamon on top. Few frozen raspeberry from my mom’s garden and few drops of golden honey. I love to sit with my family and spread our breakfast on that vintage white table of ours. To pull aside my white curtains and let the morning light come to us too. I love to eat with them, talk with them, laugh with them and tell some little tales. That’s the first simplicity I cherish every single day. But how can we find more of that simplicity and practice it daily? Here are few paths of mine for these upcoming autumn days:
Remember that we cannot control what awaits us tomorrow. Try to live one day at a time, accept that every day we learn something new and let go of something old. Life is not simple, but we can learn to create simplicity where life allows.
Embrace calm mornings. At least on weekends. Sit in silence. Prepare yourself a cup of warm tea. Read a book. Go for a morning walks. Say a prayer. Write down your gratitude.
Collect signs of current season and bring it into your home. I love making autumn wreaths from twigs and dried wildflowers for this season. Somehow they always remind me how beautiful season we are currently living in is.
Find some time to rest. Accept the time completely as a time in which you will leave all work and just rest, away from mobile phones, social networks, household duties.
Remove everything that burdens you, and everything you know you can live without. All this for the purpose of creating more time for yourself and your loved ones, for slowing down and finding that simple life.
Start an activity you've been wanting to try for a long time. It can be something very simple. For example, a few days ago I decided to devote one notebook to writing down ideas, thoughts that I take with me after a walk, drawing small details and pressing flowers between the pages I write on.
Say no. No to meetings and gatherings, no to numerous activities, no to people and things. Sometimes our body and soul simply need their peace and rest.
Before birth and these postpartum days, I spent my evening moments in light exercise and breathing. I still do breathing exercises. Breathing exercises are my favorite part of the evening. One hand on my heart, the other hand on my belly, I breathe in through my nose, I breathe out through my mouth. Eyes closed. It’s just you and your breath.
It's okay to lower your own expectations. When I allowed myself to slow down, rest, take walks, I realized how much we all strive for perfection sometimes. How we are all in a hurry to do everything we imagined, to have a perfect home, clean surfaces, perfect meals and time for all that. But I realized that it is okay to choose just the most important thing and that we are not created to always do everything.
Seek the silence. It's nice to spend a few moments in silence. It's nice to realize that we don't have to fill every moment of peace and quiet with work, story, reading, exercise, creativity... Sometimes we just need that silence to rest our body and mind.
The time of giving gifts is approaching. If you want to simplify that process, start thinking about what someone really needs, make something, bake something, sew something. Or this year, just decide to give importance to joint activities instead of gifts.
Start collecting scraps of gift wrapping paper. I just started that myself. I received several packages and separated all the paper I received in them. I put it together and store it in a box with other materials for Christmas time.
If you have a river bank nearby or even a sea or lake bank, choose it as a place of your morning or evening walk. As my toddler and I walked down to the sandy shore one morning, patches of mist hovered over the gray river water. It was morning and the sand was still dark and wet. We took out our bucket, found twigs and simply walked along, drawing in the sand and collecting pebbles. It was magical. Being by the water is always magical.
If you want to make things like I do, organize and prepare materials for your little fall and winter projects. Last year I made origami boxes for threads, paper bags for wooden beads, I prepared paper scraps in piles and attached them with metal clips.
Prepare your autumn and winter wardrobe. Autumn is here and with it quietly comes cooler mornings and evenings. Pull out your beloved sweaters and wool socks, your warm blankets and warm bed sheets too. But use this time to declutter it all too. See what pieces you haven’t worn last year and what pieces are not beautiful or comfortable to you. Separate them and donate them or gift them to some members of your family.
Make a wishlist for autumn and winter season. Put everything you think you need to buy on paper and leave yourself some time and space to think before making the purchase. Ask yourself how much you need that thing, how much you will use/wear it, how long-lasting and high-quality it is?
Deliberately leave your cell phone behind and go for a long walk. Remember how many simple moments you can spend alone or with someone and how many of them can be filled with beautiful, long conversations or simply silence. Leave your phone behind when you go to sleep to. Read a book instead. You will feels the difference, I promise.
Write this and read it again and again when you seek perfection. Nothing is perfect. The best I can do is enough. If I give my best, that will be enough for my family. And your best is enough, life itself is a multitude of winding paths, and perfection of those paths is just a myth.
And here I am, preparing to end this story of mine. To write some finishing words for you, and for me too. Then I’ll slip into my wool socks and I’ll brew some ginger tea. I’ll eat freshly made cinnamon roll and go on my balcony to observe some changing canopies. I’ll find charm in that ochre and dark red and brown shades. I’ll look up at the sky seeking for some flocks of wild geese and their loud conversations up there above me. I’ll breath in and breath out. I’ll close my eyes and feel gratitude for it all. For all that has found me in the last few years. For all that I am finding every single day. I’ll come back inside, dim the lights and see street lamp turning on while dark creeps around my windows. I’ll sit on my couch, light a beeswax candle and read few pages of my current book. I’ll seek and find simplicity among it all. I hope you’ll brew yourself some tea too, and grab your favorite mug. I hope you’ll breath in and breath out and find some charm around you. I hope you’ll dim the lights, spread your warm blanket, find gratitude in your heart and open some new pages too.
Little suggestions:
Read how practicing simplicity lead me back to my love for painting.
On finding myself again. Read the story here.
One about my ritual of practicing gratitude daily.
Story about returning to the wonders of walks.