Towards simplicity.
Practicing and finding simplicity lately.
The last month of waiting for the birth and preparing our small home for the arrival of a new soul, became somewhat challenging. Sometimes it is difficult for me to find a morsel of peace and a corner of silence in my thoughts. Sometimes it was enough to go out on the balcony early in the morning, drink a cup of tea, breathe in and breathe out, read a page or two from my favorite book and take a walk to find simplicity, gratitude and calmness. One morning while I was standing on the balcony wishing for a moody and rainy morning, I remembered a memory from my childhood. It's a story about my mother, goose feather and one precious ink bottle.
As a girl, I always wanted to try different ways of expressing my creativity, so one day it occurred to me to try writing and drawing with a fountain pen. But it was a bit of a tough time and we didn't really have the chance to just buy a real fountain pen for some passion of mine. But mom remembered that there was a goose feather stored somewhere, so she pulled it out and sharpened it with a knife. She showed me how once upon a time people used to write and draw with an ordinary feather. I was delighted. I was so enthralled by that interesting way of writing that I didn't even think about fountain pen anymore. That story reminded me how easy it is sometimes to find simplicity among the things we already have. For the last few days, my days seem to pass quickly, the need for rest is increasing and whenever I allow myself an afternoon nap and a longer rest, I feel guilty because I am not doing something more productive. I decided to stop with that overthinking and guilt by the end of last week. I decided to re-embrace peace and find ways to bring even more simplicity into my days.
Autumn is lurking around my little windows. Today, another cold rainy evening arrives and the temperatures already droped by 10 degrees. Until week ago, we had a temperature of 37 degrees Celsius, but now we have days when it’s 11 degrees Celsius. It is pure heaven for me. I am longing for those whimsical days, mornings shrouded in fog and looking out the window with autumn colors here and there among the trees. Therefore, in search of simplicity these days, I decided to replace excessive productivity with sitting on the living room floor and preparing autumn sweaters in my wardrobe drawers. When I saw those colors, textures and felt that warmth, I breathed a grain of peace. Grain of simplicity, because in those drawers I have put the clothes I've been wearing for years and I don't intend to fill them with new ones. It helped me remember the simplicity I felt a few years ago when I was emptying my closet from the clothes I didn't love or wear often.
This week I found simplicity in one idea. I had many ideas. Too many productive ideas are running through my head right now when my body wants to sit down, maybe take a leisurely walk, observe sky from my balcony or take an afternoon nap. In moments when I feel bad because I want to realize some of those ideas from my head, I find some easy way to fulfill my inspiration without creating stress, restlessness and fatigue in my soul and body. One such moment was cleaning out my jewelry box. I don't have a lot of jewelry. I had a few pieces that I rarely wore, but I felt guilty when I wanted to remove them. The day came and I decided it was over with that guilt. My jewelry box is a plain, wooden box with carvings on the lid. Dust often passed through those carvings and settled on my jewelry. I thought for days that I had to buy a brand new jewelry box. After thinking about simplicity and the way I want to live, a solution crept into my mind and settled there. I simply turned two cardboard boxes into jewelry boxes. I covered them with linen fabric and glued them to the bottom of that wooden box. I covered the lid of wooden box with a cloth fabric and now dust does not enter the box anymore. I keep the earrings I wear every day in a simple white jewelry tray. Sometimes you just need to ask yourself how can we practice simplicity daily and where we can find it among the things we already own.
Last few days, in the morning I started drinking a cup of tea again. These days my mug is adorned with raspberry leaf tea. I discovered three years ago that it helps with easier childbirth. With stretching, eating three dates a day and drinking that tea, I really had a wonderful and quick first birth. So I practice all that again hoping for the same result this time. But as the temperatures drop, it's time for warm morning tea. As I had several balls of wool stored on the shelves of hallway closet, I decided to make several wool coasters. It doesn't take much time, I can weave them while drinking my afternoon coffee on my soft couch. I've found simplicity in that these days. In that simple routine I have found a breath of peace and fulfilled some of my creativity. I've made three coasters so far. Just enough for me and my husband and our little one. Whenever I use them, I also light a candle in my clay candle holder and the feeling of autumn is here, with me. Tomorrow morning my mug full of tea will rest on that coaster, while rain tickles my windows and moody sky embraces dark crows flying loudly from treetop to treetop.
Whenever I think I'm overthinking and overdoing my home decor, I usually am. Most often, it is necessary to take a step back, take a breath and think about simplicity. It was the same in this case. For most of the summer, whenever I returned from the countryside, I looked at my empty kitchen table and wanted fresh flowers in my vase. Every few days. Fresh flowers. But there was a problem. There are no fresh flowers near me. On the balcony, everything died from the intense heat, in the building yard there is nothing but grass and one fig tree. The market is far away and we normally go there by bicycle, but due to complications during my pregnancy I could no longer ride a bicycle. And now, when we were returning from the countryside, I remembered my empty kitchen table. I wondered what else would made me happy sitting on that table, besides fresh flowers. The answer was in my notebook full of pressed wildflowers. The answer was hidden in the meadow I was walking through. The answer was in the fall. The answer were dried flowers from the fields I passed through, flowers that my sister and I used to make wreaths every single fall. So I picked up dry wildflowers and brough them back with me, to our city apartment. They are now in my glass vase on my kitchen table making me happy every morning. Simple as that.
I cannot write enough about this ritual. I really think that I found this ritual at the right moment, at the moment when I felt lost and was looking for a way back to myself, a way to a simpler way of life. A life filled with gratitude for ordinary, mundane moments. When I started writing words of gratitude on that old, yellow paper every morning, the days went more easily, more slowly, and finally, as before, I began to notice the charms of ordinariness. These days I turn to that ritual more than ever. Every morning I write words of gratitude and every night before going to bed I open the page and read what I wrote down that morning. This simple act helps calm my mind and quiet all those thoughts of worry, need for control and fear that arise before bed.
Although, this summer I returned to my painting and illustrating after a long break, I must admit that these days I have decided to slow down. It's hard for me to sit for a long time, no matter how much I immerse myself in those colors and shades and details and the story I want to tell with a paint brush. But it's the simplicity of that act I really love to come back to every few days. Free moments, moments when I'm not too tired, I like to fill them with at least half an hour to an hour of illustrating. Between these brushstrokes, I feel how much my love for painting can bring simple happiness to my day. Whenever I get up from the table, whenever I put washed brushes in a cup and paints in a wooden box, I feel the fulfillment of my soul. I feel that my soul has left its mark on that paper and among those brush strokes.
So what are some other, tiny ways I am walking on to seek and find simplicity these days?
By creating calm evenings. With tea or cacao in my favorite mug on my woven wool coaster. By the candlelight and soft music.
By resting. Without book or TV show or doing anything else. I lie down when my little one naps, and I nap too.
By taking short morning walks with my little one. Under the trees. Among the fallen leaves. Slowly and calmly. Telling tiny tales and answering his curious questions about this big wide world.
By accepting that everything I bought for my home doesn't have to last forever. Accepting that sometimes I've made a mistake and that I can get over it now. In my case, that were books that I didn't use or read again for years and I kept them out of guilt. But now they are donated, sold and broken ones are in paper trash.
You can find your slow and simple moments too. Moments that will fullfill you and make you grateful for all those mundane life moments.
Little suggestions:
Read about waiting for autumn here.
More on finding simplicity while being at the countryside this summer.
Read about motherhood and preparing my home for new baby.
Look for what you already have. And find some simplicity among that.
More on practising gratitude here.